Looks like D’s handwriting’s improving. I got a hand written letter from him today. Its a confessional. He was cheating in class and his teacher had him write a letter to me and his mom his offense. I do say his penmanship is greatly improved. He used big words like “disappointing” and “kicked out of school”. I am so proud of him. One thing about D, he never ceases to surprise me. I wonder what he’ll come up with when he’s a teenager.
Oh my gosh.
Even the laziest of cooks can make an awsome meal. I got some tri-tip and sprinkled it with garlic salt and seasoned salt. Oven is pre-warmed to 350 and I put in for 40 minutes.
After, I put a healthy dose of barbeque sauce. I used masterpeice in this case.
Put back into the oven for another 15 minutes to “marinate”.
Yeah, it’s looking good and the whole house smells like dinner. Let it sit(out of oven) for about 10 minutes to “marinate” some more. Hopefully the rice is cooked. Otherwise, cook some rice!
I found this old non-post dated March 11, 2007. Kind of fitting in the situation I find myself in right now. Here it is:
I look in the mirror and I like what I see. I just benched my current high and my body feels as great as its ever felt in awhile. My boys are growing up so happy now and especially D, his attitude is much improved. He jokes around more and will let you kiss him and hold him a lot more now. I’m learning to love and respect my signifigant other more and more each day. I think I’m getting somewhere understanding the female side of things. My life seems to be going well.
I am also sad. I smile at my boys and smile at my loved ones. Behind that smile I am almost crying. I don’t even know why. I’m having those feelings like I’ve lost someone very close to me. A person that I love with all my heart and soul. Like that person is gone and I wish very much that I had her back. She has been a part of my life for a long time. Probably the best thing that’s happened in my life. She has always made me a better person. Now, in a weird way, that best thing I’ve grown to know is not there anymore. I know this doesn’t make any sense. I feel I am not with the same person anymore. It is someone different that is by my side now and I’m trying so hard to get to know her. I’m changing too and that makes it even more complicated to understand each other. Understand myself.
Maybe she’s been there all the time and I was too blind to notice. I was too busy yelling at her and putting her down. I never tried to understand her and always tried to change her. I never bothered to understand what is inside her. What she is all about and there is a lot to learn. What’s hardest to realize is I never tried to love her, to hold her and really love her. The forever kind of love. I would hold her and love her for moments only enough to satisfy my immediate needs, then I would let her go. Let go of that precious love that she always tried to give me. I never gave it a chance. Only my boys loved her truly and I would use that against her.
I’m a mess and I’m trying to fix that. I’ve been trying to change for the better the last 9 years or so. Sometimes I try and sometimes I don’t try hard enough. I don’t know what to do sometimes and I ask God for guidance and lots of forgiveness. I thank God everyday we are a family yet another day.
So today I’m feeling like this. I am very happy about our family. Very happy indeed.
It’s been a while. I haven’t visited her in about 2 months. It was nice as I entered the shop that she greeted me with her smile and remembered me as if I was just there yesterday. I guess that’s why I’m addicted to her. It was good to see her again and see her genuine happiness. My friend, the hair stylist. ”Haircut, Neil?” with that beautiful smile. Her smile has always been like that. I don’t know how many times I compliment her and she smiles even more- never blushes. ’No, not me, these two guys.’ as I point to my two crazy boys. ”Alright, Neil! How you been?” I didn’t feel like talking, I just wanted to enjoy her company and how she makes my boys look so handsome. The growing men that they are. ’Short on the sides and leave the top on this one. We’re trying to grow it out. It sticks up.’ (laughing) Yeah, that’s my girl. Always in a good mood.
We’re done and my boys look like a million bucks. They’re ready for the young girls at their school. Always looking good, my boys. I tip her. ’Don’t forget me now…’ ”I’ll never forget about you, Neil.”
(She smiles) (I smile back…)
I had a fun trip recently to the Napa area. The scenery was beautiful and we had a good time relaxing in it. The two hour drive was nice and bumpy. There was long winding roads and it felt good to roll down the windows down and take it all in.
What a relaxing time. The grapes tasted sweet. It must almost be harvest time. The were just hanging off the bottom of the vines.
I gotta’ go back here. Memorable, it was truly memorable.
Cooked some din din last night when the evening finally cooled off. I miss cooking and now that I’ve had my full appetite back, it feels good to eat some great home cooked meals. This was a dish that took literally minutes to prepare. Cooked it for 40 minutes in the oven, turning it sideways halfway through. Turned her sideways alright! And drizzled her with the secret sauce. So saucy.
Oh this tasted pretty good. Meat was surprisingly soft. Maybe it was cooked more than 40 minutes. Let’s say it was 55. More to come!
Just got the comcast package. I finally am connected to the world. The vitual world that is. We have cable t.v. complete with Filipiino channel and everyone seems to be happy. I’m getting more settled every week. I also found a couple of playgrounds to play hoops. We checked out one last night “behind Mervyn’s”. We just messed around a little. Just a little. Well, this is just a quickie post. Gotta’ kill some more ants.
Wow! Got wonderful word today I’m no longer a member of the most prestigious athletic club in the valley. The place where you don’t even have to bring your own water. I’m going to miss the royal treatment. So… to direct my efforts positively, I went to a new place today. It seems I’m doing a lot of “new” things lately. This new place may not have wait staff(let alone staff), endless smiles, familiar faces, the newest equipment, free ice water, towels, combs, q-tips, you get the picture!
The new place, let’s call it “S” reminds me of the YMCA I used to work out at in my hometown. I haven’t worked out with genuine iron weights in years. The free weights section looked raw and worn in as if Tyson himself worked out there in his hayday. You know what, though? I fit right in. Grunting and whooing with the best of them. I’m not as buffed as the other seasoned grunters and no one noticed as we grunters went about with our checklists and water runs. I did shoulders and arms today and when I started on squats, my hams were feeling sensitive. I stopped after a few sets to avoid a pull. I totally skipped calf raises entirely. Didn’t want to make my grand entrance at “S” to be an embarrassing one.
On to the locker room. You bring your own lock for the lockers which I didn’t have. Towels were a dollar at the front desk. I brought my own. There was only 1 soap of choice in the showers. It was the all in one gel. Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash all in one formula! I smelled like a real man after that refreshing shower. The vanity sinks were nowhere near vanity. Just sinks and paper towel dispensers. If you’ve ever been to a Decathlon Club or similar, you’d know there’s a lot missing here. Oh well, who needs guava lotion anyways?
Smelling like a man, I felt like a refreshed man ready for the world! Said bye to lone attendant on duty and drove out to the camino. Peace out. I’m totally out.
The story of my life. Moving on. My Mom and I finally are moved in to our new house! Woohoo! Anywhoo… Now that I got that out of my system. We just got the dining chairs Thursday, so we’re finally eating on the dining room table like regular humans. The coffee table is now a coffee table. It feels really good to have my own place. All mine renting, that is. Thanks to my Auntie and Uncle for letting us rent their “show home”. My Uncle’s been renovating it the last 18 months and it looks great. I’ll be posting pics of his work on my facebook page. My Mom is loving this the most. I think it’s been way too long since she’s had a place of her own. Ever since she left Stockton, CA she’s been moving from room to room. So that’s at least 13 years? What a lucky number. That’s enough. She stays with me now until whenever. We are both so fortunate.
I’m also very fortunate to have friends around during this time of change. Some of them a little more helpful than others. I really like this one friend who is a great listener and has this way of eye contact with me when I talk to her. Why does she do this? Next time, I’m going to tell her to stop it because it makes me nervous. We seem to get along pretty good. I respect her space and she does mine. That is a big deal to me right now. Trust is a big deal to me. I think we are on the right path to building trust in our friendship a.k.a. relationship. Scary word for me. It’s so unknown right now. What the future will bring, how things will pan out, or will I be getting a Lexus IS? Speaking of, Lexus’ are very sexxy cars. I test drove one recently and it was a tight ride, good suspension, the seat was very comfortable. It fit my butt real nice. So as I was riding her, I maxxed it out. She was was able to handle it to my surprise. When I finally let off the throttle, I was amazed at the performance. I had to catch my breath for a few minutes. Whewww! Man, I got to get me one of those! Seriously.
Did you know Usher made cologne? I wasn’t surprised with Sean John, but man, Ush? It’s pretty good too. When I went looking at colognes, I made the mistake of taking my boys with me. We tested a few with the nice sales associate. As soon as she mentioned Usher cologne, J wanted his own already. That was it, there was no other choice. So immediately I bought the large bottle and sprayed some on my son, and then myself. I thought it was an automatic chick magnet. I need to keep dreaming. J was sure proud to wear it. I felt like a teenager again. My boys make me feel like that, seriously. They are so cool. I know the women in the mall really couldn’t care less who we were, but I felt like we were the coolest cats out there strutting in the mall. I know we smelled good.
Man, Usher cologne?
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